So, this is my new blog. I haven't really done one of these since Myspace was a thing. Since Facebook boomed, a lot of comedians like me took the lazy route and decided to just drop their thoughts and jokes in little, 140 character dung pile status updates. Unless you work for Huffpo or are a Perez Hilton lackey, you'd rather stare into a camera and spew your vitriol into cyberspace rather than typing onto a keyboard for 10,000 strokes. I get it. It's easier. Hell, even most of the comics that I grew to love through their blogs don't even do it anymore. They podcast.
It's way easier to pop open a bottle of red, eat a pot brownie and talk into a microphone. I can talk faster than I can type, so why shouldn't I take advantage of that? I mean, I had four points that I wanted to make here and I've already forgotten them because my brain moves too fast for my fingers to keep up. I only type 40 words per minute. So, why blog? Isn't this shit outdated?
I like outdated. Call me old-fashioned. Then make me one. I'm a drunk.. and drunks like to write.
I was egged on to do this by the producer of this glorious, new(and old) ball of media. And now, I'm glad I'm doing it. Putting your thoughts to paper(or screen) has a cathartic affect. For me, at least. I can talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.. but sometimes, I don't feel like talking. A lot of times actually. I like having this option. To talk without opening my mouth. To talk without being interrupted. To talk without realizing that nobody is listening or cares.
Have you ever had that happen? At a social gathering, in a group of people, and you start to reveal something about yourself or tell a story about something you read, and you lose everyone's attention? It's a shitty feeling. There might even be someone that saw you lose everyone's attention and now they're looking at you. Maybe you continue talking to them, because you're socially confident or socially awkward and don't know any better. Or maybe, you're somewhere in between, like me, and just stop talking.
You probably had a really funny story, or a really good point, if you could just get that guy in the turtleneck to shut the fuck up for 5 seconds. I don't know why everyone thinks that he's so damn charming.
Anyway, that's what this blog is for. To recount my social anxieties, failures and occasional triumphs. To allow me to rant about the absolute shit storm that is today's society and what we can do to better it. Seriously, if turtleneck guy would have just listened for a second.
There will also be lists. I love lists. Lists are just opinions and I happen to really like mine. Maybe you like mine too, otherwise, you probably won't be reading these. And If we're ever in some social situation, i promise to listen to yours.